Wednesday, October 12, 2011

How to NOT tip your husband off to his demise.

I was talking to some ladies on my baby site about mood swings, and we came up with the awesome plan to kill off our husbands and plead insanity.  (Okay, not really.  But we did mention it briefly.  Also, we have plans to make alibis for each other.  We stick together like that.)

This was my conversation with my husband earlier today.  In retrospect, should not be getting legal advice from someone who thinks you're going to kill him.

Me:  Can a pregnant woman plead temporary insanity for killing her husband?  My baby site wants to know.
Him:  No.
Me;  You're a fucked up judge.  You're fired.
Him:  And you're going to prison.

(That wasn't quite the response I was expecting from my loving husband.)

Me:  I have alibis!
Him:  Uh, I have text messages.
Me:  I didn't say me.  I said my baby site wants to know.  Butthead.  :(

He never did respond after that.  Obviously, I won and I'm not going to jail.  I think.  But I'm probably never going to get a chance to collect that insurance money, now that he's been tipped off.  Oh, well.  I can still dream about it.

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