Monday, July 2, 2012

Truth from the mouths of moms.

I have a small, adorable, darling, downright evil little baby boy. With that said, I would like to just point out a few hard truths, as a first time mom.

First, everyone was right. Everyone.

Second, you can't love your baby all the time. Sometimes they just suck.

Third, your child is a budding genius. Everyone will tell you how amazing s/he is and you'll believe them, because... well, it's true. Your child will be the best at everything. So there.

Fourth, you'll give in to "advice" because you're tired and exhausted and worn out and so-and-so has been telling you to try this every day for the past 3 months. Just remember, if you don't feel like it, don't. You feel worse taking advice you didn't want to take. Unless it works. Then you feel like a fool for not taking it. But really, only do what's comfortable for you.

Fifth, have sex with your husband a lot. He has to deal with your mood swings, temper tantrums, neurotic first-time-mom freak-outs, and a baby. We get to cheat with our boobs (even if you are bottle-feeding, babies loooove to sleep on boobies), our hormones giving us natural maternal instincts, and our emotions can always be blamed on "those damn hormones". Men have to struggle to find their own balance with babies, and it's hard. Give them some credit. Also, when they've had their once-a-week roll in the sheets, they tend to be a little nicer for a few days. They might even do the dishes. (Alternately: Hold off on sex until they do a lot of nice things for you. Train 'em right.)

Sixth, there is nothing like that feeling of "I CAN DO AAAAAAAAAAAANYTHING!!!!!" after your very first successful outing, alone, with your newborn. Shopping? Getting gas? Driving to your mother's? It doesn't matter. You did it by yourself. You. Are. SuperMom

Seventh, there's no such thing as too many pictures. Even if they're extremely blurry and terrible, you'll hate to erase them. They grow too fast and they're just so darn cute.

Eighth, your ugly little baby is the most precious and beautiful thing on the face of this earth. Until you look back a few months down the road and think, "Ewww... wrinkles!" Haha. Nah. Your baby's still cute.

Ninth, if you're usually the one being a shutterbug... make sure you have someone taking pictures of you with your precious bundle of joy. I have very few pictures of me and L.J. for this reason. I'm always the one behind the camera, and the older he gets, the sadder I am that I have so few of me and his little wrinkly red newborn self.


  1. True!!! Especially about the Men, haha!

  2. Don't forget that first outing in a moby/wrap/ carrier. You feel like super crunchy baby wearing mom! ;)

    1. Oh my gosh, yes! And then the first outing you forget the carrier and REALLY NEED IT, you'll feel like a total idiot... Haha.