Well, too be fair, I was kind of busy being... you know. Pregnant. And crap. And then I had a baby. Which, from what I'm told, is usually how being pregnant ends. As much as I hated being pregnant, damn were there some benefits to being pregnant versus having a newborn.
But I should probably step back and explain this all.
Third trimester? Check. Over and done with. Sucked big fat hairy donkey ballsack. No, really. All I remember is the pain, pain, pain. And numerous L&D visits for contractions (mild, stupid ones) 2 to 3 minutes apart. All.the.time. Apparently I just had to be super special like that. And then there was that one week I couldn't walk. After that, I had a walker in my trunk "just in case" until after the baby was born. Talk about fun times. I wanted that kid out so badly... hah. Little did I know.
Labor? Check. I ended up induced because of various silly medical reasons, plus my big fear of shoving out a 10-pound baby. We were informed 2 weeks before induction that my kid was 9 pounds. Well, 2 weeks later I delivered a 7-pound, 4-ounce baby boy. Yep, that's right; a boy! We finally found out his sex! And I cried. That was an amazing moment. Labor, not so much. 86 hours, if I remember correctly, of being induced. My water broke spontaneously (not so spontaneous if you consider the fact that it was probably due to the 50+ hours of induction I'd been going through with no progression). It broke with a sneeze. An hour after I came home from the hospital for a well-deserved break and Red Lobster. Never got my Red Lobster. Stupid water breaking. I was very seriously considering going anyway, even with my water broke, and just saying "Oops" at the restaurant. I was that hungry. But there was meconium, so... No. Oh, well. I wanted so hard to avoid a c-section, but ended up with an emergency c-section at the end of day #4. Do I regret it? No. Does it suck? Yes. My scar area still hurts and whatever innards got moved out of place are constantly tender. Fun stuff.
Newborn? Check. Awesome. Lucky to have the best baby in the world. You may THINK your baby is the most awesome baby ever, but you're wrong. Mine is.
I got more sleep than I thought I would. Luckily, I have a husband who more or less held the baby for the first 2 weeks, did all the diaper changes, made sure I had "me" time for showers, breaking down and crying, eating, etc. Even today, he is usually the one with the cold meal after I cook, because he will hold our son while I eat. Awesome? Yes. Yes, he is. And no, you can't have him.
So where does that leave me now? Well, let's see. I have a beautiful son. I have lovely belly fat that shall hang over my woman bits forever. I feel fat on a daily basis. I still randomly cry or scream or just plain get into funks. Some days I hate my baby. Some days I hate my husband. Most days I love them both. Some days I just hate everyone. Most days, all I want to do is curl up in bed and get some sleep... Yeah, sounds like motherhood to me.
L.J. turned 4 months old a couple weeks ago. He's discovered his toes, squeals every few seconds he's awake, coos, babbles in adorable babyspeak to anything that will listen, up to and including our ceiling fans, and has a best friend in our dog. He's wonderful.
Being a mother is great. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to sell him off when he gets to those annoying teenage years.
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